We’ve moved from the etiquette of the individual to the etiquette of the flow.
I came across this article today via Kottke.
The new coffeehouse is not a place per se, it’s a feature.
(Don’t miss this link at the bottom, where evidently California is a happy place after all, according to Twitter.)
The reason this stuff interests me is because I see phones coming out more and more when people get together, and I’m not sure how it rubs me. With full disclosure, I’ve pulled mine out as well. It seems if others start, you might as well join-in. But why do people do this?
- Is it because they feel an addictive need to “swipe open” their iPhones and check Twitter?
- Is it because they’re really interested in checking their e-mail (or other types of communication)?
- Is it because they have to update their status in some social forum?
- Is it because they are playing a social game that will earn them points or notoriety?
Or, you know, some other reason?
I have to say in general I find when I’m in the company of others that taking calls is rude. I’ve taken one (yes, just one) in my life, and I felt it was a near-emergency that required me answering the phone. And yet I still feel guilty about it.
But I also feel for those who feel an instinct to pull out (whip it, as they say in the article, well written indeed) that they find comfort in the act of becoming connected. And I wonder – where this is headed.
The feeling of peace overcomes me at times at work when my iChat window is not there—I’ve forgotten to open the program. It’s me, my thoughts, and the computer. A happy, productive knowledge worker. But soon I may find isolation overtake me. It’s not people I necessarily need, it’s a communion with the grid. I mark myself “Available” and happy times ensue.
Unless it’s a day of endless questions.
So, in the end, I think a group (large or small) may elect to have personal reading time on a smartphone, to do whatever: catch up on news, answer an important e-mail, or play a social game. But the key here is we need to agree. It might be habit. But there’s something instinctual about valuing the personal, face-time (not FaceTime™) arrangement we can have by finding a more peaceful space to enjoy one another’s company, fully listen to one another, or just to show respect for one another.
That’s fine, I know, you say, but so many of the folks I work with have kids. And who is calling them? The kids. It’s either a minor emergency, a permission request to do something, or arranging childcare among the grandparents. How do you manage that??
And do you change the rules if you’re among friends vs. work colleagues?
I don’t have all the answers, obviously, but I find this very interesting. Are we really joining a party of collectiveness that’s richer and more expressive by accessing our cell phones on the prowl? Or are we quite plainly de-valuing the social interactions we have with friends, co-workers, and family? &&Can we all get along with both needs—to respect one another and yet still satisfy the connection itch?**